Jase Dargavell

“Not all those who wander are lost”
― L.GARNER

The sun has set on my first two weeks in Chiang Mai, Thailand. I am beginning to find my way here. Getting around is a lot less scary and everything is more enjoyable to discover. This in no way means I have not had any breakdowns. I am just saying I am learning to deal with them a bit better than I would have before this adventure began.

Thailand being a Buddhist country, temples play an important role in everyday life for Thai people. People go to the temple for merit-making, pray to the Buddha for things such as good health, good fortune and wealth and to seek advice from monks. For travelers like myself, it tends to mean being in awe of the beauty and getting some great photographs. Chuck and I have explored MANY temples in the last 2 weeks. We both have made a conscious effort to stop in every other few to take a moment to reflect and be still in the moment. These have been my favorite moments. Admittedly, being still is one of the things I am desperately trying to work on. The Wat Phra Singh Temple (The Gold Temple) is absolutely stunning. It shines so brightly in the sun that it is almost blinding. I was mesmerized by it and the grounds. Especially seeing the Library of Historical Buddhist Scripture, if only I could have gone inside. On this day we went to many other beautiful temples but nothing topped the Gold Temple, until…. the Wat Sri Suphan (The Silver Temple.) What the Gold Temple has in size and shine, the silver temple has in intricacies and beauty. The World’s first silver temple did not disappoint. I was slightly bummed that there was a “Man Only” sign meaning women could not enter. I read up on this and it is a very old tradition in the Buddhist faith that women do not enter temples. I will let the pictures I took, do the talking for each of these STUNNING temples.

The magic of the night is not strictly in regards to the night markets. Night markets can be found every night and all over the city, LadyBoy performances can not. I was craving some queer culture and had heard the legends of the Thai Ladyboys. Ladyboys are considered a third gender here in Thailand and some are “drag” performers and some are not. So, I am using the term loosely but not offensively, yes I checked with a very kind “Ladyboy” I had chatted with online. So one night after a night market Chuck and I made our way to Ram Bar (has an interesting story all its own) and prepared for the show. Or so we thought. We were not prepared. It was unbelievable. The introduction videos were even impressive as they lit up the curtains. There were songs we knew, songs in Thai, audience interaction, choreographed group numbers and the bar was set on fire. I was in ah and will look at drag performances in a much different light from now on.

As you can tell, I am beginning to find my footing in a whole new world. A world that is so far removed from where I am from. Yet, it feels so very familiar at the same time. I hope to continue to find myself along this adventure. And hope to continue to meet new and interesting people on this journey. I will leave you with random photos of food and people we have met. I am off to Pai, Thailand for a week in the mountains. Stay Tuned!,

“My ideal journey: set out early and never arrive.”
― Marty Rubin

Getting to Chiang Mai was quite the experience. I was so dead set on the idea of “arriving” that I did not fully have the opportunity to enjoy the journey. Yes, everyone was telling me from afar it was part of the adventure and somewhere in my mind, I knew that. Yet, that was still not the important part. The key I have realized in just this first week is I do not want to arrive. I want this journey of life to be just that, a journey with no real destination – the chance to experience and live all that this world has to offer.

Landing in Chiang Mai, Thailand, was a relief after the trip to getting here. Gathering my luggage and making my way through the airport, I was a bundle of nerves and excitement. I stopped at the ATM to get some cash (Thai Baht) and this was my first experience, 60 USD is equivalent to about 1,815 Baht. Then it was time to find transportation. I started to wish that I had the foresight to book transport to my living quarters in advance because it was a madhouse around the airport. The wifi was not working in the airport so we could not use the Grab app. For those back home, this is their version of Lyft. So, Chuck and I went to a taxi counter and booked a ride. And we were off!

The unknown is often a very scary thing and part of this trip for me is about conquering that fear. I know myself and knew I needed to gradually come into this. That is why it was such a blessing to have Chuck along this first month. He was in Chiang Mai last year, so he kinda knows his way around. He had chosen Hub53 Coworking and Coliving for our home base. The accommodations are sufficient for my needs and the staff seems friendly. This part of town leaves a little to be desired, as there is just not a ton going on within a decent walking distance. Given the opportunity again, I would definitely stay in the Old City (more to come on that) area. The social aspect we were striving for in choosing coliving over a hotel, apartment or hostel is lacking. The “group” activities do not seem all that planned out for groups staying here, leaving a lot to you independently arriving and then finding the group. The couple of people I have run into are nice enough, but no one has been overly engaging. But, hey, it is week 1, right?!?!

Sharing meals is important in nearly every culture that has ever been. This is no doubt true for me and is the center of almost all of my social activities. I have been a fan of Thai food for years, but I must admit I was never overly adventurous in my choices. This journey of conquering my fears also means more adventurous choices in food. I must say, I may never be able to eat Thai food in the States again. I would love to detail all my meals, but in just the first week it would take pages. I will just say it is all so very good. I will be highlighting some of my favorites in separate posts in my food section along the way. I also have found my go-to place and they will definitely be getting their own post. Just know this, my worst meal was still really good.

Many of my adventures over the years have been after the sun goes down. There seems to be a magic in things once you are under the cover of night. That magic definitely comes alive in Chiang Mai once the night falls. This is never more evident than in the Night Markets. Booth after booth of food and wares. The vibe is electric and the smells are so strong, even I can smell them (I have not had a sense of smell in 2 years). Sunday Night Market in the Old City is by far the largest and my personal favorite of the 4 I visited in my first week. Yes, I went to 4 in one week. It took 4.5 hours to get through and I think we missed one section, but our feet and backs would not allow us to continue any longer.

From afar, I have seen photos, read about and dreamed of visiting the beautiful temples of Asia. Never in my wildest dreams were they as beautiful, intricate and awe-inspiring as they are in person. Temples are a staple all over the city. Some are tiny and in private yards. Some are enormous and filled with tourists. All are beautiful and worthy of a moment of your time. By far the best thing I have done so far in Thailand was the hike of Monk’s Trail to Wat Pha Lat and What Phrathat Doi Suthep. Wat Pha Lat was my favorite. It was quiet and serene, with breathtaking views. I took a few minutes to reset here and the calm that came over me was something I had never felt. Doi Suthep is a tourist locale, for sure. The temples and grounds are beautiful and the gold shimmers in the sun. The views from this location atop the mountain are out of this world. But you are shoulder-to-shoulder with thousands of others all here to see it with you. I was privileged enough to be blessed by a Monk here. I was blessed with peace and reflection. My body was washed over with a feeling that I still have yet to find the words for. If you ever find yourself in Chiang Mai and you do not make this trek, you have done a disservice to yourself.

So, I have made it to Chiang Mai, but I have not arrived because I am making life about the journey. This first week has been eye-opening and wonderful. Having this opportunity is not something I am taking for granted and my responsibility to myself has grown. I look forward to sharing more of my story with each of you.

“The way I see it, if you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain.” – Dolly Parton

The anticipation of this adventure was so high, I almost came unglued a few times before the departure date even arrived. This trip of a lifetime was planned and I was going to go through with it, regardless of what may come. So, on Saturday, January 4th, 2020, my best friend, Chuck, and I headed to the Nashville International Airport to set off for Chiang Mai, Thailand.

We arrived at the ticket counter to check our bags. Our flight (American Airlines) had been canceled, but they were able to get us on an earlier flight. It was a good thing we had made our way to the airport early. We made it through security in no time, thanks to Chuck having TSA Pre-check (if you do not, get it) and on to our gate to wait. We starting boarding for the first leg of our trip and the layover in Chicago. This short flight (thank goodness) was pretty miserable. The plane was tiny, it was extremely HOT on board, and it was full of unhappy babies.

While in Chicago, the delays began yet again. Our departure time moved several times. Still, we remained in pretty good spirits and excited about this trip. After two delays we finally boarded and began the journey to Los Angeles for the second leg of the trip. This flight was uneventful once we finally got in the air.

Landing in Los Angeles we had under 30 minutes to get to our next flight because of the delays in Chicago. We rushed to our gate, luckily it was close, and boarding had already begun. So, on the plane we went. This was going to be the long 14.5 hours flight to Hong Kong. The plane was huge and the overhead bins were packed tight. But we were on the plane and embarking on this most amazing trip. Then the nightmare began. We sat for 40 minutes, in our seats, awaiting pulling away from the gate. Finally, the plane began to move. I was so excited and the early hiccups were just that in my mind. Then the plane stopped. There was a problem with the nose and they had to get maintenance over to look at it. Thirty minutes later, the maintenance team arrived. They did not have a tow bar, so we had to wait for them to get one. Then they broke it. We waited for about another 30 minutes (yes, we are still on the plane) and they announced we would be pulling back to the gate. The flight was canceled. It was approaching 1:00 am and everyone was tired. We were told upon exiting the plane that staff would be ready to give us hotel and food vouchers for the night. We would also be made aware of our next flight. We (by that I mean Chuck) had to make arrangements to get another flight out of Hong Kong because we would not be making that connection. The line for the hotel vouchers was enormous and 2.5 hours later we had them. We exited the airport and we were shuttled to a hotel. Luckily, we were at the Westin. We had to be back at the airport for our 11:00 am flight which would get us to Hong Kong.

We arrived back at the airport and had yet another delay. So, now we would be departing at 3:30 pm. Luckily that would not interfere with our flight out of Hong Kong. But now we would not be able to enjoy our 8-hour layover in Hong Kong to explore. But we were on the plane and on our way. The flight was lovely. The team was friendly and the food was tasty. I was lucky enough to have an empty seat beside me and that sure made the long flight easier.

And just like that in 15.5 hours, we landed in Hong Kong for our final flight to Chiang Mai, Thailand. I bet you can guess what happened next! You are right, our flight was canceled and we would have to stay overnight in Hong Kong and get a new flight to Chiang Mai. This sounds fun but it was 11:45 pm when we arrived and we would have to be back for our flight at 6:00 am. By the time we made our way through the airport, picked up our bags (they made us), cleared customs and got to our room it was 3:00 am. We had scheduled our taxi for 5:15 am. We both showered and Chuck slept for an hour. And back to the airport, we went.

We were nearly the first people at the airport. Hong Kong International is GIANT. I am telling you, I can not even tell you. If you have not been, you will not be able to fathom it. Yet, it was very easy to navigate and we were at our gate in no time. We had time to have a bite to eat before our flight started to board. By this time we had nothing but pure excitement running through us. We boarded the plane and off we went. We shared the row with a wonderful Lady, Teletha, who was traveling with her husband Mike. They are from Chattanooga. What a small world!?!? They had lived in Chiang Mai for 3 years, so they had all kinds of pro tips for us. And in no time, we were landing in Chiang Mai!

The journey was long. The journey was stressful. But we made it and all in one piece. Everyone says that I will look back on the speed bumps of this trip to get here and it will be part of the adventure. That may very well be true. I will say this, I am ready for the fun part to begin!!!!!!

“Families are the compass that guides us. They are the inspiration to reach great heights, and our comfort when we occasionally falter.” Brad Henry

I am sitting here at my parent’s house in Kentucky. It is Christmas Eve and in just 10 days I embark on the adventure of a lifetime. The day I made the decision to actually do this trip, I also decided to leave my job earlier than planned and spend some time with my family. This was not really an option, I NEEDED this time.

I grew up in rural Kentucky, Madison County. My next door neighbor was my Aunt Bev (and family), the next house was my Aunt Connie (and family), the next house was my Uncle Hubie (great uncle), go around the road and you got to my Papaw and Grandma’s, just a mile past that was my Granny’s. Just around the way (less than a mile) was my Momma Jo (aunt and her family) and this does not even cover the other cousins and such. Yep, we grew up close.

All of this said because, though I knew the future would take me away from home, this place and these people are what have always been my center and what keeps me grounded. I learned the value of hard work here, I was blessed with an unconditional love from these people, and I learned that chasing my happiness did not mean I was leaving any of them behind. So, when things are getting a bit to real or life has beaten me down, this is where I return.

2019 was a really tough year for me mentally and physically. I went through many changes and my career was really taking a toll on me. My mental health was really becoming fractured and I needed to do something. I resumed my therapy appointments and began to plan a way to make my life more of what I wanted. This involved many phone calls with my sister and talks with my best friend. My friend circle was very supportive and sent me motivation often. My bosses did what they could to help me overcome obstacles and were always there to listen. But mental health is much more of what you can do for yourself…and for a time I could not figure that out. The one thing I could do, was reassess and come up with a new plan.

This meant taking some time and coming Home. I have spent a lot of time with my sister and nephews. This is a happy place for me and those boys are good for my soul. My sister has been through a lot and being able to have real conversations about both our lives is very helpful and cathartic for us. I came to the farm and spent time with my parents. We caught up, talked about the future and just were present. I spent time with the rest of my family and even got in some horse time. Nothing like a sunset ride and looking out between the ears of a horse, I promise you! Got to spend some time and catch up with some of my closest friends. This is always good for the soul. I never take any of this for granted.

Now, for the important things: I have been to Casa Cafe (x3) and will hit Madison Gardens before I leave. HAHAHA. Tastes of Home!

“When we give cheerfully and accept gratefully, everyone is blessed.” — Maya Angelou

Taking off on this world tour, as I have begun to call it, has me thinking and questioning a lot of things. One such thing is whether it is appropriate to ask for or accept gifts for my travel. Being the southerner I am, gift-giving is definitely a staple in my life. But where do you draw the line on when to accept gifts? Or do you at all?

I am always appreciative of any gift I receive and never take the kind hearts of those close to me for granted. My friend circle, especially my inner circle, is always gift-giving. I can put on any invite “no gifts” and there will be no less than 5 gifts brought. It is just the nature of the kind souls I have surrounded myself with. This brings me to my travel.

I have been asked multiple times what I need for the trip. I am not sure just how to answer this for most of those that have asked. Yes, I have built an Amazon wishlist (for my family initially) and yes, I know what all I need to make this adventure a success. However, this does not mean I know how to say “yes, this is what I need and you are welcome to help me out.”

The issue I believe is coming from one major fact. I am taking a trip of a lifetime. One, that so many people would never have the opportunity to take. Doing this completely on my own without assistance is the plan. Why would anyone make this giant leap and then be selfish enough to ask people to help them fund it? This is something I have been struggling with the last couple of weeks.

One of my dear friends gave me this piece of advice, “Accept that people want to help you, hold the gifts dear to your heart on your travels, and appreciate people want to be part of this adventure with you.” While I am still not entirely sure just how to swim these particular waters, I am going to just accept it best I can. I linked above to my wishlist because I have been asked, I will accept any assistance gratefully, and I will in return share this adventure with those who mean the most to me.

“The beauty of standing up for your rights is others see you standing and stand up as well.”–Advice columnist Cassandra Duffy

As this journey began to take shape, I spent a lot of time soul searching. What is it I really wanted out of this adventure? What would be the reasons for choosing my destinations? This not only led me to dig deeper into myself but really had me doing my research on everything.

Growing up and living most of my adult life in the southern United States it can be hard finding “your community” at times. Enter Pride Events. Pride festivals here in the United States are not only a lot of fun but I have left each one with a restored sense of community. I have been fortunate to attend events in several cities. Lexington, KY. being my first Pride Festival, obviously, since it is so close to my hometown. I have been to events in Chicago (yes Market Days is better), Indy, Knoxville, Louisville, Nashville (many times), and Orlando.

This summer I had the opportunity to attend Belfast Pride in Northern Ireland. This was a fantastic experience and it really sparked my desire to see how other countries celebrated this event that I hold so dear. Ironically enough, this was my best friend’s (Chuck) first Pride parade and he was hooked. So, knowing a fellow traveler was also interested in seeing more really got me looking to incorporate some into my itinerary. I started a spreadsheet due to this. The following spreadsheet covered Europe’s best Gay Pride festivals!

Amsterdam Pride immediately became top of the list for several reasons. One of them being that Amsterdam was already on my list of destinations for this adventure. Secondly, I had spoken with several people who were interested in joining me for this leg of the trip so why not schedule it around Pride. Doing my homework led to Amsterdam solidifying its top ranking. I mean who does not want to see a giant, bright, vibrant parade going down a canal on barges?? Yep, no one! Amsterdam also hosts some of the largest and best-ranked street parties during their Pride Festival. So, if you are free go ahead and make plans to join me in Amsterdam July 29 – August 3, 2020.

Other cities definitely have reasons to visit during their Pride celebrations. Unfortunately, the dates are not matching up for most of this first year. But you better believe I will be attending and supporting as many of these as possible in all my glitter and rainbow glory over the next few years. Who wants to start a tour of Pride festivals with me???

INGREDIENTS

• 2 3½–4-lb. chickens, each cut into 10 pieces (breasts halved)
• 1 tablespoon freshly ground black pepper
• 2 tablespoons plus 4 tsp. kosher salt
• 4 large eggs
• 2 cups buttermilk or whole milk
• 2 tablespoons vinegar-based hot sauce (such as Tabasco or Texas Pete)
• 4 cups all-purpose flour
• Vegetable oil (for frying; about 10 cups)
• 6 tablespoons cayenne pepper
• 2 tablespoons dark brown sugar
• 1 teaspoon chili powder
• 1 teaspoon garlic powder
• 1 teaspoon paprika
• White bread and sliced pickles (for serving)

special equipment

• A deep-fry thermometer

RECIPE PREPARATION

• Toss chicken with black pepper and 2 Tbsp. salt in a large bowl. Cover and chill at least 3 hours.
• Whisk eggs, buttermilk, and hot sauce in a large bowl. Whisk flour and remaining 4 tsp. salt in another large bowl.
• Fit a Dutch oven with thermometer; pour in oil to measure 2”. Heat over medium-high heat until thermometer registers 325°. Pat chicken dry. Working with 1 piece at a time, dredge in flour mixture, shaking off excess, then dip in buttermilk mixture, letting excess drip back into bowl. Dredge again in flour mixture and place on a baking sheet.
• Working in 4 batches and returning oil to 325° between batches, fry chicken, turning occasionally, until skin is deep golden brown and crisp and an instant-read thermometer inserted into thickest part of pieces registers 160° for white meat and 165° for dark, 15–18 minutes. Transfer to a clean wire rack set inside a baking sheet. Let oil cool slightly.
• Whisk cayenne, brown sugar, chili powder, garlic powder, and paprika in a medium bowl; carefully whisk in 1 cup frying oil. Brush fried chicken with spicy oil. Serve with bread and pickles.
• DO AHEAD: Chicken can be seasoned 1 day ahead. Keep chilled.

“The only way that we can live, is if we grow. The only way that we can grow is if we change. The only way that we can change is if we learn. The only way we can learn is if we are exposed. And the only way that we can become exposed is if we throw ourselves out into the open. Do it. Throw yourself.”

― C. JoyBell C.

In late October 2017 I became very ill. I thought it would pass and that in a few days I would be fine. I still drug myself to work every day but when I got home I could not force myself off the couch. I woke up one morning with palsy on one side of my face. I finally had to see a doctor.  Weeks of a headache and now this, it was time. They had me wear a patch, gave me some medication for the pain. I returned to work. I was at work when I just could no longer continue. I called Chuck (my partner at the time, my best friend now) and he took me to the ER from work. Many tests were run and the ER doctor returned to my bedside and said: “your platelets are extremely low, I think you should call your family in, just in case.” Panic sunk in…I called my Mom. I told her no need to come, of course, I wanted her to come but I was 4 hours away. She did not need to disrupt her life or my Dad’s. Well, needless to say, they were already loading the car and on their way, my sister was not far behind. 

This was the beginning of nearly 2 months of being in and out of hospitals. You see, the normal platelet count is 150,000+ and mine on that day in the ER was 23. Yes, 23! I was given nearly every test known to man and left with a diagnosis of immune thrombocytopenic purpura (ITP). This basically means, “we have no idea what is wrong with you but here is what we are going to do.” I was put on a very strong and aggressive steroid regimen. I began to recover and returned to work. 

My first day back on the job I was informed that I would no longer be employed in my previous capacity. This was definitely heart wrenching after all I had been through in the last couple months. Luckily, I had Chuck, family and friends supporting me every step of the way. I was able to spend some weeks recovering and resting. Then beginning my search for a new job path. 

I landed at a luxury apartment/condo high rise in downtown Nashville, TN. Here I began my new path as a concierge, very quickly becoming the Lead Concierge. For almost two years this has been my role. The last couple of years have not been easy. My relationship ended and we began the hard work of turning it into a positive friendship. I have had many health setbacks due to a weakened immune system from the steroids. Several other personal demons tried to slow me down. 

Through all of this I have had a great support system. I have learned so much in my current work situation and made so many valuable connections. Yet, something was missing. There was more that I wanted out of life. In July I took a 2 week trip to Ireland and it clicked. I want to see the World! 

I am throwing myself into this new journey on January 4th, 2020. I hope you follow along as I travel the World. 

First stop: Chiang Mai, Thailand.